Who Am I
by Trixie21
Summary: 1 shot. Hardly ever thought of... Hardly ever noticed... Who is Honda Hiroto? He has thoughts and feelings too. Let us see what he has to say...


If ever there was a main character who gets too little notice, it would have to be Honda.

I think he has so much potentual it amazes me that more people don't see his charms and write more fics with him. I love the undertones in his personality. They are rich and yet still just on the edge of noticability. It gives him a sort of mystique that a lot of girls really go for. You know the type. Mister Cool and quiet in the corner. Its a shame when his slightly more teenage 'gotta' have it now, instant gratifacation' pops up to ruin it for him, lol. If he could just be a little more patient.

Anyway, I did this little write up on him because much like my other two previous character POVs, I felt the need to explore some of the inner thoughts he has on his friends and how he looks at things. Its funny, as I go along doing these, they get longer and longer.

Will I be doing one on Anzu?

No.

Why?

I don't need too. There are several really great character POVs done with her that are just fabulous and they have given me no desire to look more in depth. I will admit though, that I do have an Anzu POV that I came up with a while ago before I found the others on the net. It even contains my idea on how she and Yugi might have first met. But at this point I lack the heart to put it up since there seems to be a general concensis that they met when Yugi gave her a Gameboy that she broke and he, ever so adorably Yugi-like, gives her a new one the next day. I haven't been able to confirm this in my translated Manga novels so if anyone can tell me were exactly in the manga that can be found, I would love to know so I can double check. I am a perfectionist after all, lol.

Ah well, here is my Honda.

Enjoy.

* * *

Okay, you all know the drill. I have to take up valuable space and time to say that I do not own any part that is the coolness of the Yu-Gi-Oh universe. That honor goes completely to Kazuki Takahashi. Authoress bows subservantly before her shrine of great creators... "We're not worthy! We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"

* * *

**Who Am I...**

Who am I?

Good question.

I guess it depends on when you asked.

If you had asked me that three or four years ago, I wouldn't have had an answer for you then.

But if you want to know who I was then, I can tell ya' now.

Well, I can try anyway.

Back then, I was nothing.

Just another guy in the hallway.

Just another nameless face.

No purpose.

No meaning.

Confused as hell and wondering where I fit in the grand scheme of things.

I was just as ordinary as any other kid I guess.

Had a cool family, mom, dad, older sister, dog…

Nice house...never really wanted for anything important.

Could even get decent grades if I tried a little.

What I didn't have back then was a buddy.

A friend to count on…

Someone to look up to…

Everyone needs someone to lean on and look up to.

Especially when you're a kid.

My dad was okay and all, but he wasn't really there like I needed him to be.

Wasn't his fault though.

He worked his rear off for us just about day and night and I didn't feel right asking for more from him.

Course it didn't help any when my sister decided to get pregnant and married…in that order.

He was just a very occupied dad, and mom, well...she was a mom, not a buddy.

So I just went to school and kept my mouth shut unless people started pissin' me off doing stupid stuff.

Most times the jerks and jocks didn't bother with me.

I played it cool, didn't let them ruffle my feathers, and they just passed on for easier prey.

On a rare occasion, one or two would ask me to join in with them.

But that just wasn't my style.

I didn't really do the group thing.

Sometimes I'd end up in a fight.

I didn't go out of my way looking for them.

But I sure never backed down from one.

Sometimes I'd even win.

To bad it wasn't always.

My mom thought it was just a stage the first two times she got called down to school for it.

After that she got a little worried and sent me to a couple of months of counseling.

Didn't do a darn thing.

Heck, even the counselor admitted that I was a relatively normal kid and actually had pretty good self control.

He just encouraged me to try a little harder to avoid the fights all together.

You know, walk away.

Yeah right.

I don't back down from anything.

Well, almost anything.

Sometimes the supernatural stuff really freaks me out, but that's for later.

Anyway, I just kept on going like always.

Then one day these punks decided they didn't like my answer to go, well, screw off, and that's putting it politely.

They decided to get a bunch of their out of school buddies together to help them out and corner me behind the school after detention.

Not that I cared.

I would have met them out on the street if they had just told me up front.

So I'm standing with twenty guys all around me and then they ask me if I'm ready to go down.

Can you believe they actually asked?

Geez, they were like a bunch of scared grade schoolers trying to act all tough.

I just smiled at them and said when ever they were ready to try, they could start when they were done shaking in their sneakers.

I know, sounds lame as hell, but hey...it was middle school.

So here they come closing in on me and then there's this voice from behind the ring of guys.

We all stop and look and there's this kid walking towards us like he's got nothing better to do.

He had this big old flop of blonde hair and I gotta' tell ya's, talk about attitude.

Man!

I never saw so much attitude and swagger in my life.

I couldn't help but wonder if this guy was really that good or if he was just more confidence than brains.

Turns out it was a little of both.

So he goes, "Hey guys! Havin' a party? Mind if I join?"

I couldn't believe this guy!

Just walking on up like it was no big deal.

He takes a look around and then he goes, "Intrestin' party you guys throw in 'dis school. 1 against 20 huh?"

The leader is like, "I don't know who you are punk, but you got pretty big balls to walk in on us."

So the blonde just smiles and winks and says, "Ya' know, the ladies say 'da same thing."

Couple of the guys just smirk stupidly and the lead guy goes, "Alright man, are you in or out?"

Blonde kid gives this half grin and says, "Oh I'm in alright."

Then he walks through the ring and stands next to me and says, "I'm in the middle."

Everyone, including yours truly, is just totally blown away by this guy.

By this point I was pretty convinced that this dude was just crazy, but what he said next to explain himself completely cinched it.

"I've had a' 'nough a' red assed boss monkeys ta' last me a life time."

Well, that was it.

If he came here looking for enemies, he just found a bunch of them for life.

So the ring starts closing in on the two of us now and blonde boy says to me, "Hey pal, you as good fightin' as you are actin' tough?"

I answered, "As good as I wanna' be. You?"

He nods, then says, "'Bout the same."

So I'm like, "Great. Well, this is gonna' hurt in the morning."

He just shrugs and goes, "Are you kiddin'? In the best fights it usually starts hurtin' right away."

I remember rolling my eyes.

That's about all I had time for before those jerks laid in on us.

20 to 2 was much better odds, but it still wasn't great.

We ended up looking pretty bad afterward.

Limping for three days, stitches on our faces, Band-Aids all over…

But if _we_ looked bad, you should have seen some of the other guys.

Man, some of them weren't going anywhere for a while.

Couple of days later I found out blond boy's name was Jonouchi and he was the new guy in class.

Transferred out of a rough place called Rintama.

I never did say thank you to him for helping me that day.

Didn't need to.

I walked into class the next day, sat down next to him when I saw him sitting there, and he just nodded to me with a "Yo."

I nodded back, said "Yo" and that was it.

We've been palling around ever since.

His straightforward attitude and quick mouth took a little getting used to, and it got us in more than a few unnecessary scrapes, but I can't say it was allbad.

And I gotta' be honest.

I was kind of impressed by him.

He didn't take nothing from no one and it didn't matter who it was bringing it on.

At least I knew enough not to go after the really big guys.

You know...the ones that could break you in half with just two fingers.

Jonouchi on the other hand, well, sometimes he needed to be distracted.

He may have had a death wish, but I didn't.

All in all though, I guess I sort of looked up to him.

Yeah I know.

He's not always the brightest light bulb in the store.

But what does that matter?

He didn't question himself or what he was going to do next.

He just did it and dealt with what happened afterward.

He didn't look to anyone for approval for anything either.

Why would he?

He had all the confidence in the world.

That's what it looked like anyway.

We've never had a heart to heart thing, but I always thought it wasn't all confidence.

I think a part of him had given up on certain things and since all he had was himself, what else did he have to lose by going into everything whole hog, ya know?

His dad was a drunk, his mom left and took his sister, they lived in a run down apartment they could barely afford and Jonouchi was paying for school himself.

No wonder he didn't have any fear.

He was already at rock bottom practically and you can't fall much further than that.

When I found out he was paying for school himself I asked why he would bother.

I mean, why go at all if you don't have to.

He just shrugged like he always does and said, "What else do I have to do to? Besides, if ya' even wanna' job at a burger joint you gotta' know how ta' add."

I let it go after that.

Some things are just better left alone.

So anyways we stuck together and had our share of fun and fights in middle school and then we started high school.

And that's when things turned weird.

I mean really weird.

That's when we met Yugi.

I don't know what it was about him, but from the moment Jonouchi laid eyes on him in homeroom the first day of 9th grade he wouldn't let him alone.

Sure he was short and all, and the hair, well, what else can you say about the hair.

But the way Jonouchi went on about him, he was really bothered by him for some reason.

He started messing with him and I kind of started going along with it and well…

Okay! Okay!

I'm not proud of the way we treated him back then.

But that's not how it is now.

Back then, I was Jonouchi's buddy. I looked up to him and I did what he did so I helped pick on Yugi when Jonouchi started.

After a while, I started getting just as mad to see Yugi as Jonouchi did, but for me it was mostly because he just convinced me to think there was something wrong with Yugi.

It was that way for a while and for the most part, he was easy enough to mess with.

Except when Mazaki stepped in.

Sheesh, I used to swear up and down she followed that kid where ever he went just to make sure we didn't get much in on him.

She had to be following him.

That's the only way I can figure she was always able to appear just in time.

It was like her mission in life or something to protect him.

I have to be honest again…

As much as I'd like to say it was strictly her use of the feminine wiles that stopped Jonouchi and I from messing on her for revenge, it wasn't.

Don't think for a second that we didn't get back at her just because our momma's taught us to never hit a girl...

We didn't get back at her 'cause she was just too damn dangerous!

I'm totally serious here.

That Anzu was always one strong girl and she didn't put up with anything that had to do with bullies, especially if it involved Yugi.

You gotta' give it to the girl.

When it comes to being faithful, supportive and loyal, no one, and I do mean no one, is quite like Anzu.

You don't want to get caught between her and her friends.

She will totally mess you up.

I was kind of jealous of her devotion to that little shrimp.

Me and Jonouchi have always been cool and yeah, I'd say he's the closest I've ever had to a best friend, but it just didn't compare to Yugi and Anzu's friendship.

It didn't make sense to me at all how the most outgoing girl in the 9th grade could be so attached to the quietest guy in the school.

The only thing that made less sense was when Jonouchi started acting nice and hanging with Yugi too!

Shock does not even begin to describe what I was feeling when he tried to explain it to me.

It started right after we got pummeled by this huge senior, Ushio.

I got whacked upside the head a little too hard and blacked out so I don't really know first hand what happened afterward, but Jonouchi said that Yugi wouldn't hit us even after Ushio tried to force him.

I figured he just didn't want to take the risk that we'd get him back for it later...bad.

But Jonouchi swore he wasn't like that.

That he was really a great guy and was now his friend.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

My buddy and his enemy?

Friends?

There was a good couple of weeks after that where I hung away from Jonouchi a bit.

I was just too confused.

I thought we were supposed to hate this little guy.

Now we weren't?

They were getting along pretty good though, and Jonouchi even started acting, well, happy.

And that was weird.

He was hanging out with Yugi and he was happy and content, and heck, he even started trying in school!

Something about hanging with Yugi brought this other side out of Jonouchi…a side I'd never seen before.

He'd follow Yugi around and hang with him every chance he got, hanging on his every word like he was some kind of…I don't know…god or something.

Sometimes he did look like a dog fawning on its master!

He didn't pick on anyone anymore...he started actually avoiding getting detentions...he was even helping people that he would have beat up before!

It was nuts.

But another few weeks later, I saw what he saw, and then I understood what had happened to Jonouchi.

There was this girl in our class…she was really cute.

Her name was Miho, but everybody called her Ribbon because she always wore these cute little hair ribbons.

Yeah, I kinda had a little crush on her…

HEY! I _KNOW_ you can't say you've never had a crush on someone before!

Ahem…

So anyway, Jonouchi goes and tells, big surprise here, Yugi of all people.

I am so freaking out over it.

He was going to laugh, I just knew it.

But he didn't.

Okay, point to Yugi for not laughing.

Of course I don't dismiss the possibility that he couldn't laugh because I was shaking him like a rag doll.

So we go to his place and met his Grandfather, a very weird man I must confess, and he feeds us this yarn about using a message puzzle to get Yugi's grandmother interested.

It was the corniest thing I ever heard, but it sounded like the perfect idea!

Cute, endearing, definitely something to make one remember, I would have been stupid to pass it up.

So I bought it…and gave it to Yugi to write.

Yeah, I gave it to Yugi.

I have no idea why I gave it to him.

I mean, I knew by that point that Jonouchi wasn't as hot with the ladies as he comes off sometimes, but what the heck made me think Yugi would be any better?

Even Jonouchi had had a date or two back then.

What experience did Yugi have with love?

I was kind of scared to ask.

Do you know what it would have looked like if Yugi was more...active...then me and Jonouchi?

'shudder'

Not a good thought for me back then.

But somehow, Yugi came up with something and wrapped the box in a nice ribbon.

Point number two for Yugi on that one for the decorative touch.

So we slip it in Miho's desk and sat down to watch.

And that damn witch of a teacher ruined it.

She orders a desk inspection and finds the puzzle.

Then she has the nerve to put it together in front of everyone!

I was never so embarrassed in all my life.

The teacher is threatening to expel Ribbon if the person who wrote it doesn't say something and you know what happened?

You're never going to believe it.

That goof Yugi stands up and says he did it!

I didn't know what to say.

What can you say?

Yugi knew I didn't like him, so why would he take the blame for me?

If that wasn't bad enough that nut Jonouchi then stands up and says he did it!

Now I've got two of them taking the blame for my pathetic weakness.

That's when I saw what was happening to Jonouchi.

That's when I realized.

Jonouchi had really committed to his friendship with Yugi and he was willing to share, if not assume, full blame and trouble that might come to his buddy.

And I could see why.

Yugi was a pretty brave little guy.

I never would have thought that he would put himself on the line like that for anyone, let alone someone who historically didn't like him.

It took guts.

It took conviction.

It took confidence.

Confidence…something I didn't have back then.

Not in myself anyway.

That's why I sorta' looked to Jonouchi.

Jonouchi had needed someone to look to too.

Someone selfless and sacrificing.

Someone who could show him how to be a better person…

How to care…

He found that in Yugi when Yugi refused to beat us up when he had the chance.

Yeah, I finally believed what he had told me.

And now that I believed, I had to question myself.

Could I let my best friend and some no name little kid take the blame for me and get expelled?

No.

I couldn't.

I wouldn't.

That's when I stood up and said that I had done it.

Nothing else really mattered after that.

Point three for Yugi, that's game, set and match folks.

I felt pretty good about standing up to take my punishment and I tried to do more of that.

I didn't let Jonouchi or Yugi take it on for me ever again.

So, that's when I found out who Jonouchi was and even who I was starting to become.

Or rather who I COULD become.

It wasn't a completely finished story yet even after that.

There's a whole lot more to it.

I mean, Jonouchi and I could still be jerks sometimes, but we were getting better everyday.

A big turning point though for both of us was Duelist Kingdom.

I never saw Jonouchi try as hard at anything as he did to win in Duelist Kingdom.

I was impressed and proud for him.

Yugi was going to get his grandpa's soul back - I'm still not sure what the heck that was all about - and Jonouchi was going to win the prize money to pay for an operation that could give his sister her sight back.

But things were changing right about then.

It was kind of strange.

By then, we all had sort of figured out that Yugi was a lot more than he first appeared to be even by himself, but to make things more interesting, we found out that there was someone else in him.

Or at least, he was in the puzzle that Yugi always wore.

Mou Hitori no Yugi, The Other Yugi, we called him when we talked or thought about him.

It was this super confident personality that would just take right over whenever things got a little too hairy for regular Yugi.

Sometimes it worried our normal Yugi that the other presence would scare us all away, but it didn't.

We sucked it up and stayed his friends and it was pretty easy after a while to just look at the two as just one person.

He had some destiny issues going on sure, but we were his friends.

We weren't going anywhere.

Jonouchi and Yugi were even becoming, like, super best friends.

He never hesitated to look to Yugi for help, support and inspiration.

They were THE best friends now.

So where did that leave me?

With Anzu, that's where.

It was hard then.

For both of us.

The two of us were so used to being the one and only and suddenly we're number two to the people we thought were our best friends.

We were playing second string.

I'll admit it, I was a little nervous over that.

I mean, HE was MY best friend.

I was kinda of scared that after being such great friends with Yugi, Jonouchi wouldn't want to hang with me anymore.

Anzu went though the same thing.

She was worried that she was losing Yugi too.

She didn't exactly say it in so many words mind you, but during Duelist Kingdom there wasn't a whole lot for the two of us to do but follow our friends around, cheer them on and really watch what was happening with us all.

Yeah, I saw she was a little nervous too.

I think she was concerned not just for her friendship with Yugi, but of being alone.

She doesn't seem to tolerate that well.

She's the one who convinced me to stow away on board the ship with her in the first place to go with Yugi and Jonouchi.

She can be pretty persuasive at times.

I never said a word to her about how I really felt about my friendship with Jonouchi, but she knew it anyway.

I was feeling pretty lost.

But Anzu helped a lot.

She cheered those two on and encouraged me to join in and not worry so much even though I could see her own fear.

She faithfully, if stubbornly, tried her best to continue believing that she and Yuge would always be friends no matter who or what.

I did mention her unfailing ability to be loyal, didn't I?

So I took a page from her play book and started cheering right alongside her.

And when it was all done, Yugi was still best friends with Anzu and I was still best friends with Jonouchi.

Our friendship turned out to be stronger than anything I had ever known before and I knew from then on that it could survive anything.

The best part though was that I ended up with two other best friends.

I was friends with Yugi from before sure, and I tolerated Anzu in the beginning because she was always there, but somewhere along the line we all became best friends.

I could turn to anyone of those three and get help, support, understanding and never worry about them walking away.

Even Bakura was turning into a pretty reliable friend.

Well, except when that evil dude in that ring took him over.

Unlike Mou Hitori no Yugi, Bakura's other side was not a nice guy in the least.

Some kind of thief I think he was if I remember right.

I could be wrong.

Anyways, we'd all be cruising along dealing with all the craziness Yugi had to handle - it never ends does it?- and all of a sudden, BAMM!

There's Mou Hitori no Bakura, ready to kill us all, take over someone's body and steal the Pharaoh's power.

That guy definitely needed a life.

I mean, uh…aw hell.

I don't know what I mean with him.

He was just sadistically weird.

I'll tell you one thing though.

After him and Malik, if I never met another megalomaniac again, I'll be a happy man.

All in all, neither were at heart truly bad people though.

Poor Bakura just had a bad parasite and Malik just had a demented duel personality.

Simple as that.

Now if I could explain away the weirdness that was Mia or Otogi as easily, then all would be cool.

I don't know what is with those two.

Well, actually, I know what it is with Otogi.

He and I just happen to both have a thing for a certain cinnamon haired sister of my best friend.

But Mia?

I know Jonouchi really likes her, but I'm not sure I understand why.

He's so dense sometimes and she's so…

Um…well…bitchy.

He does something stupid, she yells at him, they argue, and by the time their done he still doesn't even know what the heck he did in the first place.

She has such a short temper for stupidity that I cannot even begin to see what she sees in him.

Maybe it's the fact that he would do practically anything for her.

Maybe it's because he actually beat her in a match and saw through her mind games.

Maybe its because he was the first one to extend the hand of friendship to her despite what she tried the first time herself and then the second with that creep Ryuzaki.

He was playing the part of our buddy Yugi then and when she finally accepted us, it was pretty much because of him.

Yugi had no problems with her at all, of course he was of the mind 'the more the merrier'.

What's another friend?

Anzu on the other hand.

They…tolerated each other.

They get into spats occasionally, but I would totally expect that.

Mai is so self centered and materialistic, the exact opposite of Anzu.

It's a wonder those two even became friends at all when we first met her.

Still, somehow they did and except for the occasional disagreement they get on okay otherwise.

Now me and Otogi?

That's a whole other story.

He is the most self deluded guy I have ever known.

This dude is so into himself he doesn't just walk, he struts.

Like a peacock.

He looks into every mirror he passes and almost always more than once.

Drives me nuts.

The only thing worse is that he actually thinks he has a chance with Jonouchi's sister!

Can you believe that?

Her picking him over me?

I was there first after all and I sat with her in the hospital.

I'm the one who Jonouchi trusted to go and get her after her operation.

Yeah, I know he helped out when those creeps were chasing us, but if my buddy had really wanted Otogi to go get his sister he woulda' called him, right?

Besides, she's obviously sweet on me so why does he bother to keep trying?

Probably just to bug the living hell out of me.

I'll admit, when he chills out, he's not a bad guy.

You gotta' at least give him credit him for creating an entire game, Dungeon Dice Monsters, all by himself AND getting a contract with Pegasus's company to market it.

The guy's like half a millionaire already 'cause of it, but it still doesn't give him a reason to make the moves on my girl.

I mean… my friend's sister… yeah… that's it, heh, heh.

Well, I guess that's the long and short of it , but yeah, mostly long.

Three years, crazy adventures, probably more to come and the best bunch of friends anyone could ever ask for really.

We may fight sometimes, but its all in fun, jest and mock posturing in the case of most of us guys.

I've learned a lot of things in those three years.

I've learned that true friends will always be there to help and support you no matter what the issue.

I've learned that anyone can change no matter who or how bad they once were.

I've learned that a person never has to settle for being who they are because there is always room for betterment no matter who.

I've learned to trust my friends unquestionably because they never want anything but the best for me, and I've learned to trust myself to be the best friend that I can be for them.

I've learned to make the decisions that need to be made and deal with the consequences of my actions whatever they may be, because as long as I have acted in the best interest of those I care about, my actions will be the right ones.

Yes, I've even learned to love my friends.

I am a pillar to those I call friend and I look to them when I need a little help getting through life.

And, that's who I am now.

Who will I be in the future?

I don't know.

You'll have to ask me then I guess.

We're all unfinished stories with lots of chapters yet to be written.

At least I know one thing for sure.

I don't have to write those chapters alone.

And neither do you.

* * *

Wow! You finished it! How cool are you! 

Yes, I gave him a some major insight into Anzu, but I don't think it would be to far off the mark. They were, as stated, second string for a bit and needed to do some leaning on each other. It makes perfect sense to me that he would see the more unnoticable side of little Miss Outgoing and he does have his moments of clarity when things are actually pretty easy to see. Not all the time mind you, but there none the less.

Anyways, I thought I would mention that yes, there are Honda fics out there but not very many. One of the best I've seen has him on a month long trip in Germany rooming with guess who? Kaiba and Otogi! Hysterical. The only thing is that it makes Honda and Kaiba rather, well, interested in each other. Now, I'm not a major yaoi fan, but its still very cool none-the-less. I like the way his mind is opened up for us to veiw even though he is thus far having a not quite good time on the trip.

Interested in that other Honda fic? Check it out...

"Options, Choices and Obsessions" - under the author name"Mangez-Maltesers".

Interestedin the other Anzu fics? Check them out...

"Eidolon" - under the author name "Jade Hunter".

"ALife Less Ordinary" - "Serena4"

"The Cutest Thing" - "Serena4"

"LoveGave the Wound" - "Serena4" - A collection of thoughts. The first one is about Anzu. The others are awesome too. Especially the one concerning Pegasus.

"Atthe End of the Day - "Serena4" - This one is actually from Kaiba's point of view, but I love how focused he is on the way Anzu/Téa cares for Yugi.

Well, I'm sure you've all had enough of me so...

Until next time...

Trixie21

aka: Yugi-Fan-Supreme (with extra nuts please!)


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